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This is a big question for those planning to propose.
Should you involve your beloved in choosing their engagement ring?
If it’s going to be a surprise proposal, do you propose without a ring and get them to choose it afterwards?  They’ll be wearing the ring for the rest of their lives so it has to be something they love, it’s not a quick decision.

Let’s break it down into some scenarios – logical thinking!

Should You Choose Your Fiancée's Engagement Ring Alone? | Ethica UK


You make a surprise proposal without a ring, or using a stand-in ring.

This is perfect if you are an impulsive proposer, if the mood suddenly strikes, and you get down on one knee without having planned it. Hugely romantic proposals have been made in this way, using jelly rings, and all manner of other substitutes!  We can provide you with a silver sample though, the offer is there!

Then you get to go on an engagement ring hunt together, and your new fiancée can choose exactly what they want.  Ticks boxes for romantic and practical, but may not work if you’re a planner, or you feel your lover deserves a very special moment.


You plan your proposal in advance, you’ve talked about it together beforehand, and your partner knows that it’s in the pipeline, even if they don’t know exactly when and where you’re going to pop the question.

You can ask them for their ring-size on the appropriate finger, and then you have 2 options – choose the ring without them, or let them be part of the choosing, as with option A.

Choosing a ring when you know the size cuts down on the possibilities for getting it wrong – it won’t be too big or too small. Hopefully, you know your girl (or guy), and will be able to tell whether certain rings are wrong for them, for some reason – too big, too small, the wrong colour.

We’ll come back to how to choose the right ring in a second blog post, with all sorts of tips to choose something they’ll love and want to wear forever.


You carefully orchestrate a proposal your partner has no idea about and they haven’t told you their ring size. This is the riskiest one in terms of getting the size right, as well as the design, but has the biggest wow-factor. This is how it’s done in films, and it might be what they’re expecting, whether they’ll ever admit to it or not!

One of our bespoke rings with matching wedding band

How to find out your beloved’s ring size

There are possibilities here as well.  If they’re a sound sleeper, you could attempt to measure their hand while they’re sleeping.  If your partner already wears a ring on that finger, borrow it, and measure it.  The same finger on the other hand will not be the same size, as a person’s writing hand is usually fractionally larger than the other. So be careful!

We offer a free ring-sizer, and downloadable size guide, to help you out here.  You can find the circumference of the correct finger, in millimetres, and convert it to a ring size.

However, all is not lost if you do get it wrong.  Rings can be resized up or down if necessary.  Our website gives more details about this.

With these three options (four really) you will have to gauge which your dearly beloved will appreciate, which is your style, which is most likely to appeal. Will they be upset if you propose with a stand-in ring, or will they want a say in choosing the ring themselves?  If they’re canny, you may find they’re dropping hints about what sort of ring they might like, purely hypothetically, of course.  Listen to them, and you may find you have a path laid out towards a proposal and a ring that they’ll love, without having to worry about it!

So, think carefully, and go with your heart.  Our customer service doesn’t end once you’ve brought your ring. If you or your Fiancee feels it isn’t quite right, we are always here to help, and you can find more details on our exchange policy here. We’re sure you’ll propose with the perfect ring , after all, you found the perfect person to propose to and that’s the most important part.

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